Make no mistake, Love Actually is a chick flick, but it's a good one. The title pretty much sums up the plot: love in all its forms at least all the forms the British could come up with. And despite the excessive nudity and American bashing (all Americans are easy; the President and American girls in particular and the British are tough and polite whereas Americans are crass and pushy) the movie was really fun and uplifting. I guess I am a little biased since I love Hugh Grant. I know he's a dork, or a fop as the British would say, but I love him anyway. Fortunately for everyone who doesn't harbor a not-so-secret affection for Hugh, the movie is not all about him.

Love Actually has ten separate plots all vaguely interwoven. I say vaguely because sometimes the relationships, and scene transitions, are clear and other times they are choppy. At first it was hard to follow the huge numbers of characters. In fact, often times it was hard to follow them. So here is a break down of the plots:

1. Hugh Grant plays the newly elected British Prime Minister who falls in love with the girl who brings him tea (Martine McCutcheo).
2. His younger sister Karen (Emma Thompson)'s husband, Harry (Alan Rickman) are going through some tough times and are evaluating their love for one another.
3. All the while, Harry is contemplating infidelity with his secretary, who is making advances at him.
4. Two of Harry's employees, Sarah (Laura Linney) and Carl are trying to start a romance despite her institutionalized brother's constant phone calls.
5. Yet another story follows the relationship between a recently windowed stepfather (Neeson) and his eleven year-old stepson.
6. His stepson has his own love story, with a ten year-old girl from his school.
7. "Just" Judy and Jack who are the body doubles for all the sex scenes in a movie go on their first date.
8. Colin Firth catches his brother and wife together and moves out to a château (in France?) where he falls for his non-English-speaking Portuguese maid (Lucia Moniz).
9. Billy Mack (Bill Nighy) plays an aging rocker who has a come back with a Christmas ballad, which is a cover of "Love is All Around".
10. Mark (Andrew Lincoln) who falls in love with his best friend's new wife, Juliet (Keira Knightley).

My favorite scene is Hugh Grant dancing alone to the Pointer Sisters "Jump for My Love" but it was one of many that had the audience laughing out loud. So there was no one lesson from this mammoth cast. Some characters fell in love, some get rejected. Overall the point was that love is all around and Christmas is a good time to show it.


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Rating: A-

Topics: movies

A while back, I was complaining that new TV shows seem to be ripping off the same shows over and over, shows that I'm really not too wild about to begin with. So I'm pretty pleased to see a show rip off a show I liked the first time around. A Minute with Stan Hooper is pretty much Newhart. Easily flustered uptight guy moves to wacky small town. People drive him nuts. Wackiness ensues. It's a good formula, especially with the right cast, which Stan Hooper certainly has.

Norm MacDonald stars as the title character, who is an Andy Rooney or Charles Kurault type commentator who decides to move to small town America. Norm plays a very slight variation on his usual character, which is to say he gets to do his "what the hell is wrong with you?" shtick but drops the smug comebacks and put-downs. Personally, I have no problem with Norm's usual persona, but this version of Norm (Norm 2.0?) may be palatable for viewers with lower levels of smugness tolerance than I have.

More exciting is the supporting cast, most notably Penelope Ann Miller. I missed Penelope Ann Miller, so I'm very pleased she's back. Her character (Stan's wife) is a little less loopy than her usual character, but she seems to be fixing that as time goes on. Other notable castings include Fred Willard and Reagan Dale Neis, both of whom were on the unfairly unwatched Maybe It's Me.

Overall, the show's nothing fabulous, eliciting maybe 3 or 4 real laughs in each half hour episode, but that's more than have been induced in the entire runs of Everybody Loves Raymod, Will and Grace, and The King of Queens put together, so I can't really complain.

Rating: B (Nothing groundbreaking, but made me laugh)

Topics: sitcoms, television

This year's winner of the "Greatest Post-Pilot Decay Award," given in memory of the late, unlamented John Doe, has got to be Tarzan. In fact, Tarzan suffers from almost the exact same problem that killed John Doe - after creating an initially interesting premise, the producers are unable to come up with any sort of plot that doesn't involve the main character becoming an honorary police officer.

Tarzan started off well enough, really. Jungle boy gets rescued by sinister uncle and kept in a cell, from which he escapes and meets an attractive young policewoman. The show looked good - early episodes were directed by X-Files veteran David Nutter and Buffy veteran David Solomon - dark, shady, mysterious. And they did a nice job with the fight scenes, all of which were very reminiscent of Brotherhood of the Wolf. All good signs. And it had Mitch "Shocker" Pilleggi as the evil uncle. And Xena as Tarzan's aunt (who, for reasons I don't entirely understand, decided to play her character in the most lecherous manner possible - yay, incest!)

And then they sort of ran out of steam. I guess Tarzan can't really stop poachers in the city, so he needs to hunt a sniper? It just seems like a waste of perfectly good premise. Like John Doe, the big story arcs seem to be consigned to the last 5 or 10 minutes of each episode.

Fortunately, the show has allegedly been killed already, so I can't complain too much. But wasted potential is always sad.

Rating: C

Topics: dramas, television

Now, this? This is, by all rights, what should be my favorite show of the season, not that damned Joan of Arcadia. It's based on a book and short story by Elmore Leonard, who is one of my favorite writers ever. The book on which it is based was previously adapted as a movie, Out of Sight, which, even with the massive retroactive transtextual baggage Jennifer Lopez bring to the film, is probably on my all-time Top 10 List, maybe even up in the Top 5. The show stars Carla Gugino, towards whom I am favorably inclined for both her recent Robert Rodriguez association as well as her general similarities to Lynda Carter, as the title character, a U.S. Marshall who has remarkably bad luck with men (3 bank robbers to date). As if that wasn't enough, it's got Robert Forrester, who kicks as much ass as ten mortal men, as Karen's dad (taking over from Dennis Farina in the film version). (It's probably worth mentioning that the wife and I spent about a week over the summer talking like Robert Forrester after listening to him narrate a book on tape. We love Robert Forrester.) And I guess the producers must have decided to swipe as much of the cast of Fastlane as they could, since Bill Duke plays basically the same character on this show as he did on Fastlane, which is fine with me, since I miss Fastlane quite a bit.

So, in short, this show is made for me (and, judging by the ratings, me alone).

And yet...

It's not quite there. The show is produced by the usual Elmore Leonard-loving crew of Sonnenfeld and DeVito, who, while they should be praised for their insistence in bring the Florida crime genre to both the big screen (Get Shorty, Big Trouble) and small (Maximum Bob), don't really seem to get the Leonard feel. They're clearly better suited to the more comedic style of Carl Hiaasen or recent James W. Hall. While Leonard's later Floridian novels are a little lighter than his grittier Detroit-set novels, they rarely dip into the near-toxic levels of quirkiness that seem to amuse the Jersey Films crew so much.

So the first few episodes (two of which were directed by Michael Dinner, who presented the most woefully off-base attempt at the Floridian crime genre, The Crew) aren't really right - a little too jokey, a little too precious, a little too overstylized. Subsequent episodes (particularly "Justice") swung too far in the other direction, and lost the humor altogether. I'll admit that Leonard's hard to adapt. As far as I'm concerned, there have been precisely two films that got it right (Out of Sight and Jackie Brown if you're keeping score), which compared to the 15 or so that were failures to one degree or another, indicates a fair degree of difficulty in capturing his mix of humor, grittiness, and, above all, the sense of pre-determination that pervades his stories.

That having been said, the show is certainly picking up steam. The fifth episode, in which a forgotten classmate of Karen's, gets busted for counterfeiting was pretty enjoyable, and the sixth was flat-out great. Karen becomes more of a minor character, and the people's she's chasing (a prisoner who keeps breaking out to be with his true love -- sounds cheesy, but it was really good) get to take over the story. Really, all it needed was maybe two more scenes with Robert Forrester and we would have had a perfect episode of television. Make more...

Read the rest of the review!

Rating: A- (Getting better every week!)

Topics: dramas, television

It's been said that Howie Day sounds like John Mayer and David Gray but I don't hear it. I guess he has that acoustic/mellow thing going on but that's about it. My first exposure to this album was on an American Airlines flight - their in-flight entertainment had a special about stop all the world. "Perfect Time of Day" is the first single from the album and it's quite good but overall I think his last album was quite a bit better. Good work CD.

Rating: B (Not bad but quite mellow)

Topics: albums

It's been said by many many people before me that Jerry Bruckheimer may want to lay off the crime dramas for a little while. I guess he's not really a guy to back off a trend prematurely, but 4 crime dramas on one network is a little much. Then again, Cold Case was picked up for the rest of the season, so I guess there's really no reason for him to stop, unless he suddenly develops an aesthetic conscience.

So, since Cold Case looks like it'll be with us for a while, let's see if it's worth watching. Short answer (for those who are reading this at 7:59 on a Sunday evening and have to pick their evening's viewing RIGHT NOW) is no. The pilot jumped right in to a "torn from the headlines" story, which, in my opinion, is a pretty alarming way to start your pilot. In fact, I'm opposed to "torn from the headlines" in pretty much all cases. It's the main reason I can't watch Law and Order any more; what's the point in watching a procedural drama if you already know where it's going. If you really need to steal from real-life events, at least try to pick something that not every member of the viewing audience is likely to be aware of.

Ignoring my advice, Cold Case starts off with the Martha Moxley murder. Yawn. I suppose the producers invoked this case when pitching the show to CBS to show the dramatic possibilities of cold cases, so felt compelled to deliver their version as the pilot. Still, it makes for a boring story. The rich guy killed her? What a shock!

Anyway, our main character is a fairly boring blond cop (as opposed to the fairly interesting blond cop played by Poppy Montgomery over on Without a Trace) who solves cold cases with a passion, but only after her boss made her. Boring.

On the plus side, the pilot episode was directed by Mark "The Most Agressive Cut/Fade/Dissolve/Scene Transition Guy Working on the Major Circuit Right Now" Pellington, so the show does look good. They do a really nice job treating the film stock so it looks like it was shot in a period-appropriate time for the flashback sequences, which gives the proceedings a nice visual quality, even if it's solely lacking in, you know, plot and character.

Now, it may well be that the success of Jerry Bruckheimer's assorted crime dramas is the only thing giving him the clout to keep The Amazing Race on the air, in which case I can't really urge you not to watch his shows. But I'd much rather spend my energy convinced you to watch The Amazing Race instead. It's enough to burn off whatever hostilities you might have towards Mr. Bruckheimer and generate enough goodwill that you can't really hate shows like Cold Case as much as you should.

Rating: C (Not especially good. But looks nice.)

Topics: dramas, television

Disgust is easy to write about. As is love. Apathy - not so much.

And nothing really describes my feelings about Skin like "apathy." If you've watched Fox in the last two months, I'm sure you've seen the promos in which they actually use what I'm guessing was the description the producers use to pitch the show - "From Producer Jerry Bruckheimer - The D.A.'s Son and the Pornographer's Daughter" as though it's some sort of racy Romeo and Juliet.

Which is pretty much what it is. A bad, scantily clad version of Romeo and Juliet - one in which the actors are reading their lines with no real understanding of what, exactly, they're saying and one in which a concerned parents' group stripped out all the big, self destructive suicidal bits. Pretty much all the actors are bland and forgettable (some guy that's kinda like the guy from crazy/beautiful, some girl who's kinda reminiscent of Julia Stiles, bleh) with the notable exception of Ron Silver, who chews scenery like crazy, which is at least slightly fun to watch.

Honestly, that's it. I've got nothing to say about this show. It's not good. It's not bad. It's just there.

Rating: C (Eh)

Topics: dramas, television

Most years, something ends up on the fall TV schedule that makes you say "How, exactly, did this end up on TV? Aren't TV execs paid ungodly sums of cash to prevent this sort of thing from entering my living room? What in the hell got into the Burbank water supply?" In most circumstances, 10-8 would elicit these sorts of questions, but I think I've got this one all figured out.

End of last season, ABC was looking at Dragnet and saying to itself, "Man, that was a flop! Can this show be saved?" Two executives (let's call them Bubba and Chip) both came up with brilliant ideas.

Bubba was all pleased with his idea. "How about this?" Bubba said. "Instead of doing a boring police procedural drama, let's do a TV version of the 1987 Dragnet movie."

"The one with Tom Hanks and Dan Ackroyd?" asked the executive.

"The very one."

"But that was a spoof. Of Dragnet."

"Exactly. And people loved it. So, instead of doing a straight remake of the old radio and TV drama, we'll do a parody thereof."

"Thereof?"

"Yeah."

"You went to college, didn'tcha?"

"Yes."

"College boy. Get out of my office."

"Wait, wait. I've got..."

"OUT!"

And so Bubba crawled away, bearing with him the shame of rejection.

Then Chip entered the mighty executive's office.

"So, here's my idea. We do the exact same show, but we call it L.A. Dragnet."

"I'm listening"

"People love Los Angeles. I think people just didn't realize our show was set there."

"Good point."

"And we get rid of Ethan Embry!"

"Who?"

"Exactly."

The executive laughed and Chip knew he had a winner of an idea.

Bubba, though, couldn't bear to let his brilliant idea slip away. He forged the executive's signature on a production order, and promptly went into business shooting his version of Dragnet. "It will be shot in Los Angeles! And funny! But also serious! And violent! And they'll talk about sex! And farting! Who doesn't love fart jokes? And it'll be about the Sherriff's Department. Except, they'll have jurisdiction everywhere in the city, not just in unincorporated areas! They'll be above the law! Eagle Rock? Santa Monica? All Sherriff's Dept. territory! I'll show those uppity LAPD boys. Mwuahahahahaa!"

So, if you have the misfortune to find yourself watching 10-8, just remember Bubba. Then it'll all make sense. And if you see Bubba on the street, smack him for me, would you?

Rating: C- (Bonus points for shooting in Northeast Los Angeles)

Topics: dramas, television

I would like to go on record as saying this is the single hardest review I've ever had to write. As I've said in the past, I am a pretty strong proponent of sex and violence in the media, which generally means that things targeted to people like me are the complete opposite of things targeted to, say, soccer moms, elderly midwesterners, and their ilk. It may seem a little narrow-minded, but it's nice to be able to see promos for, say, Fastlane and know "This show wants me and people like me to watch it." Conversely, promos that advertise "From the Creators of JAG" provide a wonderful warning that I should stay far far away.

So, a show that can be described as "Girl talks to God, and, with his help, improves the life of her and her family" is pretty clearly aiming for Them, not Me. Add the use of Joan Osborne's excrable "One of Us" as the theme song, and you should have a show I am dying to make fun of at great length.

And yet...

This is my favorite show this season.

I know, I know....

Trust me, it hurts as much to admit this as it does to read it. But it's a really good show. Amber Tamblyn plays Joan and adds enough of a dose of smart-assiness to the role that it counteracts the show's tendencies to drift into Touched By An Angel territory. Any show in which a character mocks God to his face is a pretty good one in my book.

The show does have flaws, of course. Joan's father is the police chief (played by Joe "Fat Tony" Mantegna), so the show often devotes about 1/3 of its running time to resolving a crime story that is usually unrelated to the main story. I guess it's an attempt to prevent the show from getting too God-oriented, but 15 minutes doesn't really lend itself to a gripping crime drama, so it sort of feels like padding. On the other hand, 15 minutes of padding with Joe Mantegna is better than 15 minutes of padding with, say, Paul Rodriguez. Plus it's fun to listen to close your eyes and pretend that Fat Tony is interrogating suspects. Or chatting with his wife. Not as much fun as listening to Fat Tony sell you cars, but fun nonetheless.

It's worth watching. Even if the whole concept seems awful (and it does), it manages to not only overcome its premise, but to have a little fun with it.

Additional Thoughts 10/05/2003

All right, now I've got a beef with this show. Or at least with the music supervisor. Or the overzealous produver who's trying to cover costs by accepting promotional fees from music labels. Stop with the Matt Nathanson music already. It'll only encourage him to keep playing. It was bad enough that people came to see him play when he was in college, he doesn't need (or deserve) a national audience for his craptastical musical stylings.

Rating: A (Damn it)

Topics: television